Sakhi Circles: Finding a Menopause Support Group Online

You're at a family dinner. Everyone is laughing, the food is good, and you're sitting there with sweat at the back of your neck and your heart doing something strange, smiling and saying nothing. Later, at the sink, you think: does anyone else feel like this? Or is it just me?

It isn't just you. It almost never is.

In short: A menopause support group online is a small space where women going through the same changes can talk honestly. Many women find it eases the loneliness of this stage. Look for small, topic-focused groups that are kind, not selling anything, and never a replacement for your doctor. In the MySakhi app, Circles are small topic groups such as Restful Nights and Cool Down.

Why do so many women go through menopause alone?

For a lot of women, menopause was never discussed at home. Maybe your mother called it "the change" and left it there, or never mentioned it at all. Perhaps you grew up hearing चुप रहो, keep quiet, whenever something felt too personal. So you learned to cope quietly, because that's what the women before you did.

So you carry it alone. The 3am wakings. The rage that frightens you. The words that disappear mid-sentence. You don't mention it at work because you don't want to seem less capable, and you don't mention it at home because everyone needs you to be fine.

Nandita, founder of MySakhi, built it because so many women go through menopause mostly alone and in silence. That silence is heavy, and it isn't your fault. If you want to understand why it runs so deep, read why so many women go through menopause alone.

What does a support group actually give you?

Not advice, necessarily. Often it's something simpler and stronger: hearing another woman say the exact thing you've been afraid to say.

"I thought I was losing my mind." "I cried in the car park again." "I don't recognise myself." When someone else says it first, the shame loosens a little. You realise it isn't a personal failing. It's a stage of life that an estimated 1.2 billion women worldwide will be in, or past, by 2030.

A good group can give you:

• Relief: being understood without having to explain everything from the start
• Perspective: seeing that what you're going through is common, and that women get through it
• Ideas you might not have thought of, from what to ask your doctor to how others cope with 3am
• Somewhere to put a feeling that has nowhere else to go

It's okay to need this. Wanting to talk isn't weakness. It's one of the oldest ways women have looked after each other.

What to look for in a menopause support group online

Online groups can be wonderful. They can also be noisy, overwhelming or full of people selling things. You don't need a huge crowd. You need one place where you're not the only one. A few things to look for:

• Small and focused. A group about one shared experience, like sleep or heat, often feels safer than a huge general feed.
• Kind by default. You should come away feeling lighter, not judged or frightened.
• No hard selling. Be wary of groups that push supplements, programmes or miracle cures.
• Honest about medical questions. Women can share experiences, but diagnosis and treatment belong with your doctor.
• Easy to step back from. You're allowed to read without saying anything, and to leave if it stops helping.

You can't join a group wrong. Lurking counts. Saying one sentence counts.

What are Sakhi Circles?

MySakhi is a free app for women in perimenopause and menopause, with short guided breathing practices, sleep stories, calming 432Hz music and Sakhi, an AI companion who suggests what might help tonight.

Inside the app, Circles are small topic groups, such as Restful Nights and Cool Down. They're built around shared experiences rather than one big, crowded space. If your nights have become a battle, a circle like Restful Nights is a natural place to start.

That's all a circle needs to be: a small, focused space where you're not the only one. The app is free to download on the App Store.

What if online isn't for you?

That's completely fine. Not everyone wants to talk to strangers on a screen, and you don't have to. You can build a circle of your own, offline.

• Tell one friend. Just one. "I think I'm in perimenopause. Are you noticing anything?"
• Turn a regular walk or chai with a friend into a place where this topic is allowed.
• Talk to your sister, a cousin or a colleague your age. You might be surprised how many have been waiting for someone to go first.

What if you were the one who went first? Two women and a cup of chai is a circle. That counts.

When a group isn't enough

A support group can ease loneliness, but it isn't treatment. If low mood has settled in and isn't lifting, talk to your doctor. The SWAN study found the risk of depressive symptoms is 2 to 4 times higher during perimenopause, so this is common, real and worth taking seriously. Is it perimenopause or depression? can help you think it through before your appointment.

If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please contact your local emergency services or a crisis helpline now.

A practice for feeling disconnected

Sometimes the loneliness is closer to home. Perimenopause can strain the relationships that matter most, and you can feel far away from people sitting right beside you. Not this: pretending everything is fine at the dinner table. This instead: a few quiet minutes to come back to yourself first. This practice, We Are Still Us, is for those moments.

Meditation

We Are Still Us

10 min

You don't need to fix anything while you listen. You only need to breathe.

What if the next person you told was someone who already understands? Find a circle in the MySakhi app, or if tonight feels heavy, talk to Sakhi. For a fuller look at the app, see meet MySakhi, a free menopause app.

5 minutes. No mat. No mantra. Just you.